Hope revealed her twinkling self to me yesterday. She kind of snuck up on me out of the blue. Suddenly I realized that while I was driving and listening to music just a little too loudly, I was anticipating. I was looking forward to things. It doesn’t even matter what it was exactly that I was looking forward to. The point is that hope, that elusive little thing which I had taken for granted until we lost our baby boy, was a regular part of my life. Hope was the thing which kept me motivated, kept me dreaming, kept me driving forward. The promise of something fun or new, of creating something meaningful, or better, was the fuel and the spark which has always lifted me out of the average day to day. Not that the average is bad. But familiarity, although stabilizing, often brings along blinders which makes seeing the forest for the trees difficult, and potential, invisible.
Hope thrives on potential. She lives in your heart. But when your heart is broken, Hope has a hard time thriving. You soon learn though that she is tough. She is resilient. She is the weaver which is at least partly responsible for bringing those broken pieces back together to heal. Helping one foot march in front of the other, she brings you to the light. Before you know it, your face is turning towards that light. The warmth that Hope sends forth is melting away fragments of sadness and shadow. In her light, all of the beauty and love that you have to offer and share sparkles once again. And finally you see it. And then a new phase of living begins.
Thank you Hope. I have missed you.