As I sit and contemplate the last couple of hours of my thirty-ninth year, I can’t help but feel combination of mild amusement, and an indulgent dose of self pity. I am 38 weeks pregnant, have conjunctivitis, an ear infection, and a sore throat. Translation; I can’t put on shoes without getting dizzy, have hearing loss in one ear, am wearing sunglasses in the house, and am craving jello and clear fluids. Apparently 40 is the new 80. To add insult to injury, I have been cleaning up puke and other unpleasant bodily fluids from my two youngest children since 4 this morning.
It is now 10 pm, and thankfully, the children are sleeping soundly. I finally have a moment to sit on my couch and put my feet up. I look over at my gorgeous husband, who has just done a late night run to the shops for diapers and Dolce de Leche Haggen Daaz, and who, despite my septic appearance, still somehow thinks I am worth hanging out with. I lament that spending the eve of my 40th birthday up to my elbows in vomit and so pregnant I can barely catch my breath, is a far cry from the romantic storm watching excursion on the West Coast I had envisioned for this epic milestone. Isn’t it ironic that although I couldn’t have planned a less optimal birthday situation if I had tried, I still feel a kind of contentment that no amount of perfect event planning could ever provide?
I think of my little Oliver’s big earnest eyes begging me to stop the throw ups from coming; my sweet little firecracker Zoe stroking my cheek saying “My lub you Mommy”; my brown eyed, soft-hearted Jacob affectionately saying good night to his little sick siblings; and my sweet Liam, all legs and front teeth, wrapping his arms around my round belly for a goodnight hug. I know that this is my bliss.
I see my big, patient brindle dog who though he knows is not getting a walk tonight, still loves me anyway; my tireless husband, just back from a hockey bingo so exhausted that he falls asleep on the couch literally 5 minutes after he collapses into it; and my comfy home which envelopes me in its warmth. I know without a doubt, that I am living my happily ever after.
There is no better way to spend a birthday than that.